The Gay UK Day Guest Blog by Denise Warner


March 29th 2014- a big day in the U.K., when same-sex marriage passed and the celebrations began. A traditional big red double decker bus was painted with rainbows as gays & lesbians held streamers & feather boas out the window as it made it’s way down crowded London streets, LGBT media outlets poured out articles, pictures, plans, quotes, headlines and all over the telly & newspapers broadcasters and reporters flooded us with pictures and videos of gays & lesbians taking their legal vows, waving their legal documents and kisses -sharing it with……THE WORLD.

Don’t get me wrong, I get it. I understand the fight… the struggles it took to get us this far and just how very important the moment is.  Nothing should take away from what a momentous occasion and what better way to celebrate it than with a ……stereotypical musical. A big, gay, fabulous, over-the-top, show-stopping, song-belting MUSICAL.


Channel 4 aired “Our Gay Wedding-The Musical” on March 31st and with all the flash, pizazz, and panache ANY musical should have- this one was all gay from beginning to end with all it’s flamboyance and flair. As I read my friend’s “super thrilled!” posts on Facebook about it, saw the “live tweeting” happening on Twitter, and saw it on the TV guide menu while flipping through channels, I couldn’t bring myself to watch it. Just couldn’t do it. Not because I had been seeing pictures everywhere I looked from magazines, blogs, online news, Facebook, Twitter, links, and trends for the last 3 days, to the point I was waiting to see it on the pub menu at dinner– no, really. Believe me, it wasn’t that. I wasn’t sick of it. Technically. But, why I couldn’t I bring myself to watch it? Just a bad lesbian? Maybe so.

The three reasons that I could come up without going into the depths of a therapy session were as follows: 1.) I can’t bare to see something as sacred, intimate and personal as an actual wedding be splashed over the television for all to see (seriously- how did Wills & Kate deal with that?!) – and probably be judged by some jealous catty, queers who didn’t think of it first, or God forbid-for anyone to think it was somehow for personal gain or world-wide attention as in “Look at how awesome we are!”, or worse yet some straight bloke with a can of Guinness in one hand, 3 day stubble on his twatty face, sitting in a gross, smelly barcolounger, yelling, “Get in here! You have to see how ridiculous this is!”  To me, a wedding day is shared by exactly who you wanted there- who you select, who you know and who you love. No strangers allowed, let alone 7 million of them. 2.) I’m not…Oh, what’s the word?…I’m not embarrassed or ashamed of “Our Gay Wedding- The Musical” because in some way- it showed viewers that same-sex legal marriage is something to celebrate, and that the entire United Kingdom didn’t crumble into a pile dust because gay people can get married now- that no anarchy ensued, people didn’t begin marrying their animals, and churches remained in tact- BUT there are still places all over this earth that it’s not acceptable. Like, Florida, for instance. It’s just ..simply not legal. Which stinks, but there are places in this world where you can get the death penalty for being a homosexual, and that’s heart-breaking and gut wrenching. I’m not a fluffy femme but I am definitely a complete crybaby so my heart breaks and my stomach gets in knots when I see images of what goes on in other countries where homosexuality is concerned and I’m certain this was addressed in some bittersweet way during “Our Gay Wedding”- so I didn’t want to cry …because I hate going to sleep with a stuffy nose.

And finally 3.) I may not be sick of seeing pictures of happy queer couples all over the place, but I am sick of Stephen Fry. There. I said it. Seriously. The guy is everywhere all the time.

So, for those of you who watched it, good for you, glad you enjoyed it. I’m sure it was fab. I’m sure it was sweet and touching and not at all ridiculous. Maybe I’ll catch it in the West End one day when I feel like dinner & a show. Or… Maybe, I’ll just go to a wedding…and maybe it won’t be called a ‘gay wedding’ then- but yeah… a wedding…. of my two same sex friends, at a tiny church with countryside manor celebration afterward and a lovely roast dinner and a charming toast among a small gathering of their families and our closest friends. How precious and memorable would that be? No less memorable than a big musical, I bet.

Denise Warner
Hosts “The Lesbian Lounge” Podcast- available on iTunes and Podbean plus she does guest blogging all over the place.

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